Was this a joke? Sure. Conan O'Brien is a comedian, after all, and it's kind of his job to be funny.
But what's not funny is the fact that if this conversation really happened between a father and son, that son would likely have learned that his dad isn't a safe or reliable place for information about important questions.
The kid is going to learn where babies come from someday, somewhere and it might as well have been his dad who cares about him.
Kids may "fill in the blanks" themselves if they can't find an answer to their questions.
Unfortunately, when kids don't feel like they can ask their parents about sensitive topics like where babies come from, they often turn to sources outside of the family like friends (who are often just as clueless) and porn (which is artificial and unrealistic at best and violent and misogynistic at worst). Kids may also fill in the blanks themselves if they can't find an answer to their questions.
By now you might be thinking, "Okay, okay, I get it β I need to field uncomfortable questions from my kid. But how??"
I've got you, friend, and I'm glad you asked.
Below are 4 ready-to-use responses to uncomfortable questions that will buy you time to figure out a) what to say and b) what's an appropriate amount of information to share with your kiddo.
Let's get started!
4 Ready-To-Use Responses to Uncomfortable Questions
1. βIβm not sure, but we can figure it out together."
Why: As a parent, you might feel pressure to know everything about. . . well, everything. But you don't have to! It's okay, and even healthy, to let your kid in on the "secret" that you are a human who is learning and growing just like they are. This response also teaches them that they are not on their own and that someone else can help them figure out the answers to their questions. Answering a question AND teaching a life skill??
Yes, please!
2. βI donβt know β let me find out and get back to you.β
Why: This response also lets your kid in on the "secret" that parents don't know everything. But if you also would like some space to do your own research without a curious kiddo by your side, this is another solid choice.
Note: Just make sure you get back to them, so they know you're not just trying to get them off your back
3. "Good question. Let's talk about this in the car on the way to soccer/when we go on our walk."
Why: This validates the child's question, gives you time to think about your response, AND provides a context where they don't have to make eye contact with you during a potentially awkward conversation. Win-win-win!
4. "What makes you ask?"
Why: Sometimes kids ask questions that really throw you off. Maybe they are younger than you thought that they would be when they asked that question or maybe it's really specific. And sometimes they are asking a totally different question than you think.
When I was an undergraduate student, I had a professor talk about an experience she had with her daughter. One day, in the kitchen, her daughter asked what "virgin" meant. Luckily, she asked her daughter for some additional context about her question; her daughter was asking about the "extra virgin olive oil" on the kitchen counter!
Of course, sometimes you get that clarification only to realize that your kid is asking exactly the question you think they are asking. And sometimes that means you get to follow up with one of the other phrases we've talked about.
All of that said, I'm guessing some of you will be ready to answer your kiddo's questions in the moment and you won't need the delay before you're ready to have that conversation. If this is you, go for it!
But if you're like me and are easily caught off-guard or often find your foot in your mouth (though I hate this phrase), these phrases can help guide your conversations.
You've got this!
P.S. Here's a FREE quick-reference guide with the 4 scripts we talked about
Responses